Refusing to Shrink: What It Really Takes to Lead on Your Own Terms

When I was entering the second half of eighth grade, I transferred from a school in Staten Island, NY, to Phoenix, AZ. Despite my records showing I had tested out of classes in New York, the school administrators in Phoenix tried placing me in remedial reading. Ignoring the evidence, they underestimated me—but my mother did not. She visited/contacted the school and kindly demanded that I be placed in the appropriate classes to ensure my learning was not disrupted. That moment taught me the power of speaking up, even when no one else does, and not allowing people to dictate what “box” I will sit in or access. Oh! And my mother did not play about her kids or our future.

I love coaching, speaking, and hosting—these forums bring me immense joy because they allow me to create space for others to share their stories. My early experiences in corporate America and the environments I grew up in shaped my ability to cultivate ecosystems where people feel seen and comfortable. My passion for operating in these lanes comes from lived experiences—that is the true gift. When I coach, interview or speak, I want people to feel validated and strong enough to be vulnerable. Imagine how life-changing it can be to feel acknowledged and welcomed. This is why I created FutureState Collective and The Couch Coach—to support people, especially women.

A little good trouble, as they say, can be worth it. I have paid a hefty price for navigating corporate politics differently, all in an effort to maintain my integrity and keep myself safe. I never traded integrity for vanity because I want to be the ally I needed so many times in my past. This requires me to hold on to my values, which include doing the right thing even when it could put a target on my back. I have fought many battles, not because I wanted to but because they were necessary. Although many of these adversarial situations should never have occurred, I have a large toolbox of movement strategies that I can share with others, and I  just so happen to have stamina. 

I coach people and share wisdom when I can because everyone, whether a student or a long-time professional, should have a cheat sheet for surviving and thriving in professional spaces, not to mention in life. I am grateful for the wisdom I received from my parents, especially my mom.

As a creative businesswoman, I often reflect on the opportunities I wish I had, like access to the resources that would have allowed me to pursue dance, for example. However, this was a different time; digital innovation and social media did not exist yet in the ways we see it today. Yes, I am 46, but I believe that essentially makes me 30 in real life. What can I say? It’s all of the oils.

We should also engage in conversations with our peers, friends, family, and beyond about the beautiful, diverse people all around us. It is important to become educated and informed so we can speak with truth, rather than relying on the limited perspectives that allow some to be loud and wrong. With better education, including cultural education, many individuals I have encountered could have been more open to accepting a qualified, charismatic Black woman in the same space as them.

Also, we must prioritize teaching and learning about emotional intelligence. It is disturbing how many people are quick to disrespect me because they have not engaged in self-reflection, or they perceive me as some sort of threat because I “think highly of myself.” And so  I have often suffered the consequences of others' fears, insecurities, misgivings and, at times, outright hatred.

I have had quite a journey so far, and I am just getting started. Years ago, I moved to New York (2012) with only three bags, leaving everything behind in Arizona. I was filled with determination and dreams. To make the move, I had to give up most of my closet, sell my car, and leave the house that belonged to my mother. I bought that house years earlier when she passed, and it was tough to let it go. There is more to that story, but that is for another day.

I was forced to leave my job within the financial industry as well because they wouldn’t allow me to work remotely from New York, even though they had a major office there. I later found out they had permitted another employee to work remotely from another state. It was frustrating, especially since I had been working remotely prior to my move from Arizona. At the time (a few years prior), I wrote a proposal to secure that opportunity for our team, but again, that’s a story for another day. 

I got accepted into NYU for a Master's program—a long-held dream—and had to figure out how to survive without a job, relying on my savings and the money I made from selling my car. It was tough for many years in New York, but I pushed through and eventually graduated with my Master's. 

Now, I’m in the process of rebuilding my purpose, business, and vision, driven by the same resilience that brought me this far. I landed a job at a major tech company, knowing the competition was fierce. Although I was entering the tech industry with 20+ years of experience, I feared it might work against me, and in some ways, it did. But that’s a different conversation about equity and the unfortunate reality of not always being matched with the right people in leadership roles and beyond, ready to positively impact employees' experiences.

I am a Disruptor by nature, navigating the professional world for over 25 years as a Black woman determined to carve my own equitable pathway. It is no different in my personal life—I simply want to live a good life without constant interruption. 

As a Culture Changemaker and Strategist, for example, I don’t conform to performative expectations. My coaching, speaking and leadership approach is rooted in truth-telling, asking hard questions, and creating spaces for real, inclusive, and equitable change. I have spent years guiding projects and professionals by sharing the hard-earned wisdom I’ve gained from corporate America, never wanting to waste time on busy work or empty gestures. I’m not afraid to make people uncomfortable with the truth because creating real change demands it. In fact, I have been targeted by peers across my two and a half decades of work because I don't know how to get “with the program” and operate with complicit behaviour that covers antiquated ways of operating.

Self-awareness and self-interrogation are two cornerstones that allow me to stay grounded and safe (most of the time) from situations designed to undermine my success. And even with all of the experiences, challenges and current things I am pursuing, I can tell you that I am just getting started and I haven’t given up on my dreams!

Lindiwe Davis is a multi-talented and multi-passionate individual with over 25 years of experience across the Financial, Marketing, Media, and Tech industries. She is a founder, business creative, speaker, storyteller, and culture changemaker. 

Lindiwe is currently working on her upcoming podcast, "They Tried It," which highlights Black and Brown women speaking up in professional spaces and what happens when they do. Lindiwe has been featured as a speaker, panellist, and media host for NYU, Columbia University, Google Talks, Bloomberg Radio, SAG-Aftra, The Female Quotient, Women Tech Makers, Black Girls Code, WIN Summit, and more. She has interviewed talented artists such as actor Billy Bob Thornton, the cast of “Goliath,” actor-comedian Jay Pharoah, writer-director Stefon Bristol, the cast of the Broadway hit “Ain’t Too Proud,” and Pinky Coles, to name a few.