Nobody Came to Save Me—So I Led Myself and Now Create What Others Are Missing

Growing up, I wouldn't say I was problematic. At most, I had a smart mouth and, in my younger years, would often lose my temper. As I matured in life and in my business, I began to realize I had a tendency to hide my true feelings. Delving into the roots of these limiting thoughts revealed experiences of isolation, poverty, bullying, and emotional manipulation. My earliest memory of being left alone at home is from when I was about 3 or 4 years old, which left me in vulnerable situations I couldn't talk about. My father's narcissistic traits kept me isolated and feeling alone throughout my childhood, as he prioritized protecting his image and sense of entitlement as a dad.

My family didn’t have much, and they weren't inclined to share even the little they had with me. This led to my financial independence sometime during secondary school, when, facing rapid weight gain and no one to buy me new clothes, I resorted to stealing from Primark. My experience of poverty was compounded by bullying at school for my appearance and intelligence, which in turn fuelled my binge eating and left me feeling vulnerable. After school, this vulnerability became my greatest weakness, as it made me susceptible to emotional manipulation by colleagues, friends, bosses, and partners. Realizing I couldn’t remain the same, I saw running a business as a way to build my confidence and self-worth while also helping others do the same. 

In my third year of university, I started volunteering in Coventry, collaborating with young people and community groups on projects such as fashion shows, youth conferences, short films, and sports events. During this time, I was intentional about how I treated people, whether I was working with them or for them. This approach proved to be my greatest asset, despite the disrespect, deceit, and corruption I had encountered.

For every negative and positive experience I've encountered, I've developed a way to inspire change through my company’s projects. Take, for example, "Young Souls Creative Leadership"; this online educational space is designed to teach talented creatives how to build an enterprise around their skills and navigate the industry by understanding people, not just projects. This initiative emerged from my own experiences of working on numerous projects where I was underpaid, overworked, and often kept in the dark about what was really happening.

I am living proof of what can be achieved despite lacking what is commonly deemed necessary for success. While certain resources and support are important, it's possible to take steps forward without immediate access to funding and emotional backing. 

In the music industry, such manipulation often targets artists, which is why educating them about the various elements of their career is my solution. Reflecting on my experiences and journey, the first emotion that arises is a profound sense of loneliness. Many people distanced themselves from me during my toughest periods, which led to both developing a thick skin and, paradoxically, feeling more fragile. I often felt unable to express my feelings to anyone, as nobody—neither in my family nor outside it—seemed to care or understand. As a result, discussing it can be overwhelming for me. However, I choose to share my story because I am living proof of what can be achieved despite lacking what is commonly deemed necessary for success. While certain resources and support are important, it's possible to take steps forward without immediate access to funding and emotional backing. 

I started trading one summer after my first year of university, using nothing more than my phone, elastic, and beads. I was at home, unable to find a job or go out, and it became a turning point. Every test and trial, every moment that made me doubt my abilities or feel unfit for business because of my humble beginnings, was an opportunity to prove to myself that anything is achievable if I truly commit to it. Because of this, I don't have any regrets—perhaps just a touch of sadness—but mainly a deep sense of fulfilment from turning my pain into purpose. I am leaving a real legacy through the lives I continue to impact every day.

I have experienced times when I cried and asked God, "Why me?"—times when I longed for a call, a hug, for someone to genuinely care. Yet, I had to pull myself out of that dark space, relying on incredible inner strength and resilience. For others who may face adversity, I worry about whether they will have the chance to speak up and receive the right support they need.

Here are three ways I believe could make a difference:

1. Teaching Self-Acceptance, Compassion, and Empathy in Schools: By introducing these concepts in primary education, we can help children understand how their actions affect others and equip them with the skills to manage their own emotions effectively.
2. Reintroducing the Nurturing Element of Entrepreneurship: This involves creating environments where individuals are cared for both personally and professionally. It means fostering open and honest workplaces and providing support for those who need it.
3. Rethinking What Makes Us Worthy of Life: As a society, we need a profound shift in our understanding of what makes us truly worthy of life.

Unfortunately, in today's world, if you don't have the most or the best, you're often overlooked, leaving many people in the shadows. It's not about how much money you have, but about your ability to fulfil yourself emotionally without negatively impacting others. In the current economic climate, many are falling behind on bills, yet the government continues to prioritize numbers. Landlords can now evict tenants within three months instead of twelve for falling behind. While I understand the rationale, I worry about those who are truly vulnerable.

It's not about how much money you have, but about your ability to fulfil yourself emotionally without negatively impacting others.

In September 2023, I organized my first festival in Coventry, called "Embrace," to support the community by showcasing local creatives and offering people the chance to express their truths through various forms. Despite facing personal adversity and having no stable income, I took a leap of faith with the event, and it was extremely successful in my eyes. While I didn't earn any money and faced betrayal from the people I worked with—leading to being blacklisted and excluded from the community—I saw an explosion of new creative ideas, projects, and businesses emerge from that day. That's what made it a success for me.

"Embrace" was my way of challenging the status quo, given my traumatic past. Early adversity led me to make poor choices and become involved in illegal activities. The world often tells us to hide these imperfections and present a flawless facade. However, I am anything but perfect, yet I remain confident in my ability to achieve the goals I set for myself.

The journey involves being brutally honest with ourselves, making small daily changes, and accepting that not everyone will understand. Forgiving myself has been crucial, allowing me to take a leap of faith despite the opinions of loved ones and strangers alike. I am not here to please anyone; speaking my truth can provoke discomfort in others, highlighting where they may have been neglectful or inauthentic. I welcome this because it is where the opportunity for growth begins.