For years, I thought that commanding the room meant being the loudest, most polished and impressive version of myself.
And no wonder; after all, that’s the narrative we’re fed as women. We’re trained to perform palatability. Expected to be assertive, but never intimidating; confident, but never arrogant; smart, but never too bright; attractive, but never distracting.
We are told to bring our whole selves to work, only to be instructed to tone ourselves down. Do not be emotional. Do not be too opinionated. Do not take up too much space.
Commanding the room as a woman is not a neutral act. It often feels like a dance between proving our worth and avoiding the accusation of being full of ourselves. Research shows that 80% of women feel pressure to overperform at work, and far too many brilliant women find themselves burnt out from the silent labour of performing confidence rather than being allowed to embody it.
What I know now is that true presence does not come from performance. Commanding the room is not about projecting perfection. It is being grounded, regulated and unapologetically true to yourself.
Even experienced leaders struggle to communicate effectively when the stakes are high. Under pressure, they abandon presence and slip back into performance.
The moment that taught me this happened in a room full of women, the first time I told the truth about my mistakes and lessons in business. I was terrified of being judged or rejected. I was raised on a diet of ‘fake it till you make it’ and ‘never admit wrongdoing,’ so telling the truth about the many times I had failed felt dangerous.
Yet, instead of pulling away, the other women leaned in. Afterwards, they surrounded me. Your honesty is refreshing, they said. I could see myself in your story. Thank you for sharing it.
In that moment, I realised something I had missed for years. Influence is not about perfection. It’s about resonance.
Data and logic matter, but influence is not created in the head. It is created in the body. According to workplace research group Gallup, about 70% of human decisions are driven by emotion, while only 30% are based on rational analysis.
People take action because a message moves them. So, if you want commitment instead of polite agreement, your communication must create emotional resonance.
That means:
Storytelling: Wrap your ideas in a narrative. Stories create meaning, show impact and make information memorable. They help people feel why your idea matters.
Authenticity: Real enthusiasm is magnetic. When you believe in your message, others believe too. Authenticity is not a buzzword. It is a felt sense, and it always comes back to telling the truth. Passion over perfection wins every time.
Empathy: Speak to what your audience cares about. When people feel understood, trust grows.
Storytelling as a Leadership Tool
Human beings are storytelling creatures. MRI studies show that when we hear a story, the language-processing part of our brain activates along with sensory and emotional centres. Our brains literally light up. When leaders tell authentic, emotionally resonant stories, trust also increases.
A study at Stanford University asked students to deliver a one-minute persuasive speech. Some used statistics, others told a story. When tested later, only 5% of listeners remembered the stats, but 63% remembered the stories.
Storytelling humanises authority. Corporate communication that is polished, vague or sanitised strips away the very thing that creates connection.
Neural coupling is one of the most powerful aspects of storytelling. When I tell a story you can relate to, the neurons in your brain fire in the same pattern as the neurons in mine. We are literally syncing our brains. That is connection at a biological level.
But for a story to be compelling, it must be relatable. It has to be human.
The Power Of Authentic Communication
People trust leaders who sound human, which sounds obvious, yet many leaders perform corporate norms and sound anything but authentic. When used honestly, storytelling becomes a vehicle for relational trust, especially when leaders share moments of failure, turning points or the values that guide their decisions.
Stories also move people forward. Every story holds tension, struggle and resolution. Leaders can use that arc to shift teams from awareness to action. A strategy map informs, but a strategy story motivates. It shows why the journey matters and where each person fits within it.
Narrative scholar Stephen Denning coined the term ‘springboard story,’ a short and concrete account of a challenge solved in the past, used as a blueprint for what is possible next. One well-chosen story can do what a 50-page plan cannot. It can create belief, momentum and voluntary engagement.
Even experienced leaders struggle to communicate effectively when the stakes are high. Under pressure, they abandon presence and slip back into performance. They use platitudes, corporate polish and defensive language. Their speech speeds up, their bodies tense, and the audience senses the disconnect.
Communication becomes a shield instead of a bridge.
Authentic Communication And The Nervous System
To become a magnetic speaker and a compelling storyteller, you must pay attention to the nervous system. The body is part of communication, whether we acknowledge it or not. A dysregulated leader can use perfect words and still lose trust because the room feels the truth behind those words—or the lack thereof. Voice, breath, tone and pacing reveal what the body is holding.
When a leader is grounded and regulated, even difficult messages can land with clarity and safety. Some of the most powerful communicators in the world are soft-spoken. Some of the most respected leaders barely raise their voice. Their influence comes from congruence, not volume. They are the same on the inside as they appear on the outside.
Organisationally, storytelling humanises authority. Corporate communication that is polished, vague or sanitised strips away the very thing that creates connection. When leaders are willing to speak honestly about mistakes, learning or purpose, people feel respected and the leader becomes more human.
The future of leadership communication will not belong to those who sound perfect. It will belong to those who are real. Employees, audiences and stakeholders are tired of corporate theatre. They want leaders who speak like people. They want leaders who say, Here is what we learned, here is what we are changing, here is where we are going next.
Good leadership is not measured by how much space you take up. It is measured by how much space you make.
And they want leaders who create environments where others can speak too. Good leadership is not measured by how much space you take up. It is measured by how much space you make.
You do not need to dominate a room to hold it. Domination risks disconnection. Some leaders may command attention, but that does not mean they leave a mark. Real presence creates connection. When you are rooted in yourself, you stop trying to control the space and begin to shape it. You become a super-connector, weaving a thread between the people listening.
Storytelling is the tool that makes this possible. It is the difference between being heard and being remembered.
Sophie Lee is a voice and visibility consultant and founder of Electric Peach, a storytelling studio for purpose-driven SMEs. She's the author of the upcoming title Beyond Palatable: A Manifesto for Unapologetic Women. You can pre-order your copy here.
This article is part of Disruptors Lead — our ongoing leadership space for people navigating power, visibility, and decision-making.
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