Can women have it all? Over the years there has been an indirect and direct approach to this question. The society has poked us with this question, we have asked ourselves this question.
Women can have it all. Yes we can!! With the limiting expectations put on women over the years, there has become this pressure to conform and limit ourselves into how the society wants us to be. They tell you, you can’t attain certain goals because you’ll chase suitors away, you cannot attain certain levels of success, you have certain duties as a woman, wife, daughter, mother etc. It is a taboo to choose career over having a relationship or kids. You can’t be a successful single woman or a successful married woman or successful at all!! You have to change who you are when you get married, have kids, go into a relationship or to be accepted.
These are words spoken indirectly and directly to women and because of such mindset, some women have grown with these limiting ideologies and try to transfer such ideologies to others or trash talk those who step outside the status quo.
We are made to think that men can do anything, be whoever they want to be and women have to walk in the shadows of men in order to be deemed loyal. This cannot be further from the truth.
We do not need to suppress our individuality and goals to satisfy the expectation of those around us or the society. Women can have it all and women should live their truth.
I was reading a research the other day about how women tend to be the happiest when their partners have died. I was in awe by that report. I don’t know how true that is but to think that there is a possibility of such reality in our society is disheartening.
We don’t have to be limited by ourselves or live in the shadow of anyone.
We can have a career. We can have a family – if we want to. We can be successful. We can be powerful. We can have it all.
Women such as Oprah Winfrey and Beyonce have been amazing trailblazers making us understand that our life is ours, our choices are ours and we can be successful, powerful and happy.
No more do we have to live in the fear of being rejected for who we are. Some years ago, my friend got dumped by a guy because ‘she was too ambitious for him’. It was good riddance.
Listen to those goals you’ve had from the get-go, your goals as a kid that have evolved and grown but still with the same theme. Are you living your dreams, pursuing your purpose or stuck with judging yourself and trying to edit your goals so they can fit into the expectations of others?
Self-worth and love are valuable tools because when you are confident in who you are and your purpose, there’s nothing anyone can tell you that will limit you. The journey isn’t always easy and there will be lonely times but your reward will be bountiful when you get to do you, be you, walk in your purpose knowing that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to do.
Growing up, I was often told that certain mindsets I had about who I was and what I wanted will prevent me from having the perfect man or a happy home. This kept being drummed in my head till I began to believe it myself. I tried to dream big but not too big so that I don’t scare men away. I wanted to be the ‘ideal woman’ everyone said I ought to be; who would take care of the kitchen and be ‘submissive’. This wasn’t me and I wasn’t happy with my life. One day, I asked myself, ‘so what if they get scared?’ ‘What if I choose not to have kids? What if I choose to have kids and a career? So what? Why can’t I have it all?! I had to start unlearning a lot of things and developing a can-do attitude. I had to start loving myself all over again and truly believing I was enough. I accepted myself and believed the right people will find their way to me. I started walking in my purpose and believed that women can truly have it all.
Don’t let the limitations of others fool you into thinking you can’t have it all or you don’t have what it takes. Step outside the confinements of the societies expectations, norms and pressures. Take time to know yourself again and embrace the very qualities that make up who you are without judgement. You will begin to explore a game changing path and do things you never thought you could do.
Having it all, is about achieving all your dreams, living the life you want, making the choices you want, taking responsibility and living out your purpose. Whatever it is you want – the power is in you not in others.
Eyes on the price. You can be who and what you want to be. Believe it, think it, Be it.