2017 was such a year. That year literally gave me a sucker punch repeatedly. I felt like loci in Thor and 2017 was incredible hulk hitting me and throwing me up and down, all around the place.
I wasn’t sure I was quite going to survive 2017. It was an emotional, mental, physical and financial mess. However, like they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
There were also wonderful life changing and beautiful moments that took place in 2017 for me and I am eternally grateful to the Most High.
I have been on a journey of self-discovery for couple of years. Knowing that most of what I had thought to be true or who I thought I was wasn’t really as I thought. A lot of crazy stuff happened in 2017 even around the world. From the Harvey Weinstein scandal that opened a cankerworm of decades of sexual assaults and harassments to lots of crazy stuff.
It was a bloody year, but a lot of beautiful things resulted from the storms of 2017 that have shaped me to the woman I am becoming. I also believe a lot of revolutionary things happened in 2017 and I say it was the year of immense women empowerment.
- It was a year of immense self-discovery for me where my very foundations were shaken, and I became very aware of myself, people around me and the world that I found myself in. Self-discovery and growth happens in the most uncomfortable places and that is very fine. I was thought that things that brought discomfort or didn’t follow a strict black and white guideline was to be abandoned and ignored. This year I learnt that indeed for me, that wasn’t it. I was used to running away from my troubles and fears rather than running towards them. I was used to being comfortable with all the baggage, pain and hurt I had carried along for years but I learnt that this were the things that made life the sweetest and growth the most amazing thing.
- I learnt to embrace all part of myself that made me who I am rather than judge and condemn myself and the very unique attributes that God has blessed me with. I learnt to stop looking for definitions of things- bad or good, right or wrong. I learnt that somethings are not black and white and there really isn’t good or bad, right or wrong, there just is. It’s okay not to be able to name tag a thing but just let it be.
- Some of the best things that happened to me happened to me against whatever principles and rules I had held myself up to. I had learnt to let go of perfectionism and run towards the unknown. Run like a child towards life. Live free and be my truest self no matter how hard the society and people want to judge that.
- I learnt boundaries and above all I began to really search and find meaning into what love meant. I had loved mostly with the notion of love being a conditional affair- trade by barter. In the past, I had learnt to sacrifice myself daily to the needs and expectations of others while starving myself of the very things I was created to do, the path I was created to walk, the purpose I was created to live and the me I was created to be. Fear had become my companion. But in this year as high as the tides where, I learnt to rise above the tides, I learnt to dive with the tides, I learnt to look my fears in the face as uncomfortable as it was. I learnt to embrace my fears and release them. I learnt to believe in myself, even when it felt like I didn’t know what I was doing or making a ‘mistake’. I learnt to trust the higher intelligence inside of me knowing that He never leads me astray.
- In this year, I had become spiritually enlightened. I had learnt really what a relationship to the Higher One was. I separated myself from all religious classifications/denominations I had known and even when I couldn’t make much sense of what I was beginning to unravel, I remembered the little girl I was many years ago and the questions that little girl always asked, the things she wanted to know and how she was always hushed for asking too much or asking ‘abominable questions’. I ran towards that girl and my journey to spiritual enlightenment began. I experienced an awakening of everything inside of me that had been hushed; it was such a rush that it scared me. I began to learn about the Universe all over again. I began to know more about myself which was knowing more of God. Love became my path and that to me is the most important. I learnt that love was the only thing that will never fade away and that is what the world needs. I began to learn more of love which was learning more of God and that to me was a rebirth. I saw God differently and it was such a freeing and overwhelming rush of emotions.
- I learnt resilience. I learnt that I was more powerful than I thought, and I realized that we tend to doubt ourselves and often think less of ourselves. I learnt that fear is a lie. I became conscious of the negative patterns I had developed over the years mentally and I learnt how to ask for help. I learnt that vulnerability was not weakness.
- My purpose became clearer to me. I learnt that everything we go through and the paths we take are all connected to the plan we have to fulfil on earth and we just need to listen and stop fighting ourselves. The war that goes on within is the fiercest and deadliest type of war. Love all part of you, even the parts you are ashamed of. Love yourself fiercely for to love yourself is to love God.
- I learnt how powerful I was and how God had put so much in all of us. We just need to believe.
- I learnt it was okay to look after myself. It was okay to create boundaries. It was okay to set my own path and create my boundaries in all areas of my life, career and family. It was okay to have nothing figured out. It was okay to fall and above all, mistakes are lessons and they are not to be feared but embraced. I began to replace the word mistake with the word lesson and growth.
- 2017 saw a revolutionary movement for women and it really excited me as most of the things I saw happen, the projects that took place where all things I am passionate and had been for a while but was so scared to take a step. It was a year that pushed me towards my destiny.
- I learnt to be kind and compassionate to myself. I cannot show kindness to others when I cannot show kindness to myself.
- I learnt that nothing is permanent, but everything is prone to growth and this means beliefs, values etc. I learnt that I may not always have the same values and it’s okay to grow and evolve. My values today are not the same as yesterday and they will keep evolving. I became aware of the importance of open mindedness. Growth is not the enemy; dogmatism is.
- I learnt that I am still learning and still evolving like a flower and this journey will keep on keeping on until the day that I leave this beautiful planet.