Jasmine is fashion and lifestyle blogger and a woman who has used her experiences and turned her pain into a weapon that has made her fearless, strong and able to encourage, empower and support other women.
Scroll to read her fearless post
There is something to be said about children and their uncanny ability to believe in themselves. They stand tall in who they are and use their voices freely; as they discover new, they have another way to express themselves. When I was younger, my imagination coupled with my curiosity gave me a sort of fearless nature. Even if I was unsure of something, I would not hesitate to ask about it or figure things out on my own. I did not worry about whether I was pretty or talented enough to exist at that time. Instead I focused on anything that made me happy.
I spent the latter part of my teens and very early twenties contemplating suicide because I did not know where to begin as far as believing in myself again was concerned.
As time passed, I found myself basing my worth on my looks and what other people thought of me. I stopped thinking there was anything special about me and I often questioned why I was even alive. I spent the latter part of my teens and very early twenties contemplating suicide because I did not know where to begin as far as believing in myself again was concerned. My mind housed the memories of being talked about repeatedly during my senior year of high school and my body carried the trauma of rape. Even though I made the brave attempt to seek therapy, I still felt too lost to find myself again.
The thing I have learned in my mid-twenties is that healing and discovering yourself are a process. It is not something that always happens quickly and it looks different for everyone. The way I truly allowed myself to start healing is by choosing to face things I was terrified of. Although it was very easy for me to repeat the negative things others said about and to me, I decided to do just that one day. As much as I wanted to push the thoughts away, I allowed each one to form in my mind until I had a clear vision of them. Ironically, this was not the hardest part. The hardest part about facing the thoughts that made me feel insecure was refuting them. Telling myself I thought I was beautiful instead of repeating I was ugly was scary and sounded foreign. Telling myself I was not broken because I was raped felt like I was lying to myself but I kept trying anyway. The more I started to choose what made me feel good, the more I began to shed layers of insecurity.
The same goes for facing fear and uncertainty. Each shares a common goal that will make us believe things will never get better. I have allowed all three things to hold me back from being the person I know I am deep down inside but I decided to forgive myself for that. A lot of times we can hold on to familiar feelings even if they hurt and this can cause us to also get in our own way in life. Instead of being upset with yourself, learn to be patient and, eventually, learn to trust yourself. I know it may sound cliché but I like to believe our experiences are not necessarily meant to break us. Each of us were created for a reason and as someone recently told me, there is a specific assignment with your name on it that can only be completed by you. Your gifts and characteristics have been knit together so you can reach others and inspire them.
Call your fears, insecurities and uncertainties by their names, and decided they do not have permission to control your life anymore. Take back who you are because the truest form of yourself is always with you.